My wife is generally happy with me, but she’s been even happier lately because of a slight change in my daily routine. This isn’t something she knows I’m doing on purpose, but normally after work I workout, take a shower, and then I’ll head straight for the couch to set my fanduel lineups and play video games.
While I’m on the couch I await orders from the wife who’s working in the kitchen. Sometimes the orders don’t even come. Sometimes they do. When they do she’ll ask me for help in a frustrated way, “Uccchh, could you help me here?!”
And that “ucccch” comes from frustration because maybe she can’t reach something in the cabinets or she’s just tired of cutting vegetables, all the while she sees me not helping her and doing absolutely nothing on the couch. So when I hear her bark, Uccchh, could you help me here, I always reply, “Sure babe, all you had to do is ask.”
But lately I’ve been doing something a little different to avoid her initial frustration. And at the same time my new strategy helps me avoid the potential argument fuel she could use against me, such as “I did all the cooking.”
You know, like those arguemnts on TV when the wife complains that the husband isn’t doing anything. That’s what I’m trying to avoid.
So nowadays, after my workout and shower, I head straight to my wife and ask, “Baby, what can I do for YOU?”
And you know why? Because I know whatever chore she’s going to give me won’t take longer than 15 to 20 minutes. Then she’s all happy and giddy that I helped her out, “Ohhh maaa gaaahhhh thanks sweetie, you’re such a perfect husband,” and THEN I have the freedom to go to the couch, guilt-free, set my fanduel lineups and play video games.
In my 2.3 years of experience, the key to marriage is argument moderation. My wife and I never really argue, and it’s because I’m generally submissive and pretend to help more than I actually do.
And even though my wife might argue and tell her friends, “He DOES do a lot for the house. He mows the lawn, he GROWS the lawn, he moves things, he fixes things,” I don’t actually consider that work. For me, outdoor projects is more like fun.
“Work” and “chores” around the house include dishwashing, cleaning, laundry, and eventually cleaning the kids diapers… UGGHHHH. I am going to cherish these next 2 to 3 diaper-less years until we have a baby.
Anyway, to you men (and me): once in a while volunteer your kitchen help. That’s the key to stripping some of her argument fuel. And speaking of stripping, the more you help her the more likely she’ll… well… you know, use your imagination. Or was I WAY TOO OBVIOUS there?