Remember that childhood song our teachers and camp counselors sang to us every week?… “Head, shoulder, knees and toes, knees and toes.” As far as I’m concerned, exposing our kids to those lyrics is bad parenting.
What the hell are we singing that horseshit to our children for? What is the meaning? Is it such a pitiful song that it has none? Whatever it is, I believe following this top-down theory suggested by the song makes for a severely unhygienic lifestyle.
I’ve urged proper washing methods in the bathroom on this blog before, but at the time I never realized the root of our hygienic problems lies within this elementary school tune.
If you’re like me, then you wash your hands, arms, stomach and upper body first – not the face and not the head. Anyone that washes their face first is an absolute moron. There’s so much bacteria lingering on your hands that if they were to touch your face, you’d be doing more harm than good. When you first enter the shower, wash your damn hands to start, then move to other parts of your upper body and then on to your legs.
Obviously, one would be remiss if they didn’t save the crotch and backside cleansing for last. Many people are lazy and wash the mid-section before they reach their legs. This attitude is primarily a result of the average human’s submission to gravity’s pull. You finish washing your top section, then you go downward and logic suggests you might as well wash the crotch before you fall further to your legs. Some feel this strategy is time efficient, which may be true, but ultimately it’s hygienically malignant.
If you don’t want other parts of your body smelling like ass or yesterday’s one-night stand, don’t be that idiot who establishes their shower philosophy from baseless elementary school melodies.
Oh yea, and don’t forget the soap.