I wonder if the size of the bottle’s hole is directly proportional to the winemaker’s wife’s holy “area”. You go with what you know. A lot of these winemakers have very little sex, which leaves their wives’ very tight in that “area”, so they make their wine bottles resemble that “area”. I hate sluts, but I definitely love a slut if she’s married to a winemaker. Makes life easier for my cork.
I like this because it makes me laugh because it makes me angry. Who’s the genius that came up with this idea? Who’s the idiot-CEO that listened to this genius and ordered these directions to be on every plastic package in every supermarket? And who is the asshole at the FDA who approved this patent and paid this guy off for life? And who are the idiots that actually get confused and start searching for these directions? Not me. No way. Fuck you. I love it.
You know the reasons why they suck, it’s been said 1000 times before. But for me, they give me another reason to hate something. I like that.
In any Boston club, you’ll find it full of White morons yelling incessantly, spilling their beers, and dancing like pricks. They attack girls on the dance floor, they never take “no” for an answer, and they get kicked out of bars more than any other race. I know White people are the dominant race, so obviously the statistics on that are skewed; however, I’ve never seen a Black, Asian, or Scandinavian thrown out of a Boston bar.
Finally, the three gay guys in the Army can come out of the closet. Who cares? But I love this because it’s good for both the homophobic Republican haters and the Democratic sissies. First, the Democrats will stop whining. And second, the Republican homophobes will realize it’s a good thing if gays in the Army come out because they’ll be the first to die in a war. If a terrorist with one bullet left has the option of shooting either John McCain or Clay Aiken, whom is he gonna fire at?…. Bye, bye Mr. Gaiken. It’s a sick truth, but at least Democrats can give themselves a pat on their back (or butt) because they finally got a bill to go their way. And Republicans will be happy because the more gay casualties there are, the less there are to infest their “utopian” KKK-outlook. And Hollywood can finally release Brokeback Baghdad – a romantic-drama about two Gay American soldiers falling in love in Baghdad which destroys their squad’s threatening image to the terrorists. But eventually, they win the hearts of their squad because they convert all Iraqis into gaylords while singlehandedly making peace in the Middle East. I like it.