• Home
  • About the Author
  • Blogs
    • Fake News
    • Relationships
    • Science
    • Pop Culture and Sports
    • Things I Hate
    • Social Issues
    • Etiquette
    • Religion
    • Social Media
    • Dad Emails
    • Fitness
  • Manuscripts
    • Books
    • Screenplays
  • Audio Skits

SOURCE: Antarctica Really Pissed Off at Ice Bucket Challenge

0 Comment
 11 Aug 2014   Posted by Rel


According to an organization not named NASA, the entire continent of Antarctica, which has been melting away bit by bit, is really pissed off at the complete waste of ice in these ice-bucket challenge videos.

Animal interpreter, Dr. Doesalot, spoke with the Prime Minister of Antarctica, who is a polar bear with a wizard shaft.

polar bear gandalf stick

The Prime Minister of Antarctica


“Next dude who wastes ice and doesn’t actually donate money will get the stick,” the Prime Minister threatened.

Antarctica’s congress, which is compiled of 57 penguins, 11 elephant seals, and 2 albatrosses, are requesting $65 billion in ice funding from the Obama administration.

“That guy throws more money around than a groom on his bachelor party at a strip club,” the Prime Minister said. “Why not make it rain here, too? Just make sure that’s freezing rain, though…”

President Barack Obama refuses to fund to the Antarctic continent due to the blatant racism against Orcas.

“The United States will not support an Antarctic nation that continues to deny the rights of Orcas,” the President said. “They deserve equal rights to that land of ice. But Antarctica forces them to live underwater. Until we see Orcas living peacefully with all the other land animals, we will not send another dime to the continent.”

whale seal talk

The Prime Minister vehemently denied these allegations, “Bro, is Obama really that stupid? Orcas can’t live on ice! They can only survive in the water!”

The Prime Minister refused further comment because the ice underneath him was cracking and he had run to the neighboring ice shelf.

President Obama informed the press that he may or may not read up the White House’s Encyclopedia Britannica textbooks to find out if Orcas really can’t live on ice.

“It really just depends if that particular textbook is still on the shelf,” The President said. “When my predecessor was in office, he used those encyclopedias as firewood.”

 

penguin yellow hair

“Got ice?! Me needs it for my hairdo.”

 

    Share This


Written by Rel
Ariel "Rel" Mathiowitz is a neurotic, panicky writer who details his pathetic life stories and frustrated points of view. Rel is 6 foot 5; however, he makes himself appear to be 5 foot 5 because he wants women to lust for him for his personality, and not his grand stature.


Related Posts


Donald Trump Proposes 140-Million Mile Water Pipeline from Mars to California
September 28, 2015

SOURCE: NFL To Adopt 162-Game Season
April 15, 2015

Scientific Study Proves Women Can Sleep and Shush Snoring Husband at Same Time
September 9, 2014

  • Recent Posts

    • Oh, how “blessed” I am to be a father, Part 1
      January 4, 2019
    • OF COURSE this item didn’t ring up at the register!
      July 30, 2018
    • Horrible Things You Said To My Pregnant Wife and Unborn Child
      July 16, 2018
  • Ad
  • Ad
  • Ad