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Global Warming Melts The Wall in Game of Thrones. Season 7 Cancelled.


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 19 Jul 2017   Posted by Rel

Although scientists and witches of Salem, Massachusetts warned us for years, global warming has officially ruined the most important resource on Earth today: The TV show ‘Game of Thrones.’ Since season one, even the most loyal fans have been skeptical about The Wall. Some argued it was computer-generated...

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Honey, It’s Not Your Cooking. It’s My Taste Buds


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 08 Jun 2017   Posted by Rel

Taste buds are like a sexual preference; you can’t control what you enjoy. If it looks good or tastes good, then you want it. And nobody should be offended by these biological preferences. So why is my wife offended by my taste buds? Peaches and Nectarines I love peaches and nectarines. Every...

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Evil Tactics My Wife Uses To Prevent Me From Snoring


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 11 May 2017   Posted by Rel

There was a time when sleeping with my wife was fun. It was back when we weren’t married and didn’t live in the same place. Back when I could fart, snore, and throw my elbows around while sleeping without having to hear my wife complain because she was 15 miles away in her parents’ home. Although...

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NFL May Allow Rear View Mirrors for Quarterbacks


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 29 Mar 2017   Posted by Rel

The blind side sack is one of the most dangerous plays in football, and as the NFL continues to find ways to protect its quarterbacks at whatever cost, their most recent potential rule change has got to be the most ludicrous since the inception of the extra point. According to sources just as legitimate...

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“Fun” Things That Aren’t Fun For Me


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 23 Mar 2017   Posted by Rel

I typically don't like going places that take longer than 30 minutes to get to. Because of me my wife is forced to accept this way of life into her own; poor girl. This way of life comes from a combination of 'been there, done that' and tiredness. I'm always tired, and I've visited enough sights...

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Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Do Anything for Her on Valentine’s Day


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 14 Feb 2017   Posted by Rel

Don't worry, this isn't another post from a single, protesting hippie claiming that Valentine's Day is a marketing scheme. This comes from a married man with years of experience in doing the least amount possible for a woman, while still being able to sleep with her. There’s a fine line between...

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The Difference Between a Husband and a Wife Texting Their Sick Spouse At Home


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 20 Jan 2017   Posted by Rel

My Text To My Sick Wife My wife was sick at home just a few weeks ago. Poor girl. I texted her: "Get well, drink soup, and rest all day. Hopefully when I got home you will feel better!" That's basically what you're supposed to say. That's what normal people do. That poor girl was still...

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Why I Didn’t Deserve Christmas Gifts This Year


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 28 Dec 2016   Posted by Rel

I'm confessing to Lord Santa here on why I didn’t deserve SHIT for Christmas this year. Just like a good, bad boy should. I Avoided 17 Weekend Walks with The Dog Nearly every weekend, my wife loves taking these long walks with the dog. And when she invites me I try to come up with a legitimate...

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Stenographer Dies of Exhaustion During Attorney Ed Hochuli’s Closing Statement


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 14 Dec 2016   Posted by Rel

Ed Hochuli is an NFL referee by weekend who is known for his unnecessarily long explanations of penalties during NFL games. Much less known is Hochuli’s work as an attorney for Jones, Skelton & Hochuli, P.L.C., but he made headlines across Arizona’s Maricopa County during his closing statement...

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Horrible Dates and Ideas for Your Engagement Proposal


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 07 Dec 2016   Posted by Rel

Though this is meant mainly for men out there, my intention for this post is to prevent you, the potential bride or groom, from making one of the biggest mistakes of your life. But let’s be honest, you’ve already made a mistake even thinking about proposing to a person you will learn to loathe in a matter...

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