I’m getting ready to move into a new apartment with my Fiance and out of nowhere I’m being offered help from my mother and sister. Where was this help years ago when I was working like a mule around the house – when I was shoveling snow outside or raking leaves – why suddenly am I blessed with their volunteerism? Why are they so willing to give me a hand now?
Well, obviously they want to get me out of the house as fast as possible. They’ve been waiting for this moment for 6 years. They say they’ll miss me, but c’mon now. They’re gonna have the T.V. and living room to themselves, the goodies in the refrigerator won’t be as devoured, they might even start ordering out more often knowing it won’t cost as much. Life is gonna be great for my family now that I’m leaving.
I realized how badly they wanted me out when my Jewish mother kept begging to fold my clothes and pack for me.
My mother came up to me and said, “Do you vant me to ccchelp you packing?”
“No mom. It’s okay, I got it.”
“I vant to help. Let me show you how to fold nicely correctly.”
“Mom, I know how to fold clothes. I just need to put them in boxes now.”
“But make sure you fold them.”
“I did fold them. And a lot of them were already folded before anyway.”
“They need to be folded nicely so it’s easier for packing.”
“I know, mom.”
“Please let me help you and fold those clothes.”
Which came first: the woman or the broken record? How many times must I tell a woman I’ve done something before she believes me?
It didn’t end there. I needed a car on Friday to meet Fios at my new apartment to install the internet and cable. At first, my mother couldn’t lend me her car that day, so I had to reschedule the appointment to Monday.
I told my mom I rescheduled the appointment for Monday and I wouldn’t need the car Friday. She comes up to me two hours later:
“Okay, Ariel. I cancelled my appointments at work and you can cchave my car on Friday.”
“I rescheduled for Monday, Mom. Remember? I don’t need the car.”
“But you can have it. It’s okay. Go to meet the guy for cable and internet.”
“But I don’t NEED the car on Friday.”
“So how are you going to get there?”
“I don’t need to get there Friday! Mom, originally I was supposed to meet the cable guy on Friday… remember?”
“Okay, I called him and now we’re going to meet on Monday instead.”
“Ohhh, okay. I thought you still needed the car. Why did you not tell me earlier?”
My gut wants to say I already told her before, but that would mean additional commentary from her in response and possibly a stressful outcome. So, I just apologized and let it be.
“Sorry, mom. I thought you knew.”
“That’s okay sweetie. Just make sure to fold the clothes nicely.”