Dear Mr. July 4th,
I’m not Irish. I can’t drink all day, watch the fireworks until 11pm, sit through traffic on the ride home and then wake up the next morning at 6am for work. How can you expect me to properly celebrate the most glorious day of the year without the next day off?
Why can’t we learn from the Jews on this one. Every Jewish holiday is multiple days long. Some are happy holidays, most are guilt-ridden, but we always get at least four days off work – or at least that’s how long we can convince our bosses we need off without dipping into our vacation time.
The way these mid-weed July 4th holidays are constructed seems more like cruelty than a celebration. If Mitt Romney proposes the ‘extra-day-off-Jewish-amendment’ to all American holidays, I will surely vote for him over Obama.
July 5th should always be a vacation day, and we should all be mandated to sit, watch and pray for Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum in Independence Day. Now that’s a holiday I would savor forever. July 5th may eventually become the new July 4th.
By the way, just look at how pissed off my wife is that we have to work on July 5th (or maybe she’s just annoyed because I took six takes to get this video right and she wants me to drive to the BBQ already).