So my dad came over to teach me how to carve pumpkins the other week. There I was like a young buck thinking I’m the Michelangelo of pumpkins.

I did pretty good for my first try. My dad’s is on the left of the image, and mine is on the right:

I walked away loud and proud saying, “This isn’t so hard!”

Then a week later my dad emails me his latest masterpiece…

Holy Reaping Shit!

I’m no Michelangelo, I thought. My dad is the Michelangelo of Pumpkins.

At best you could compare my pumpkin carving to those shitty, smoked-up hippy artists who call their works of trash “contemporary art.”