NFL Quarterback Aaron Rodgers was caught on film Sunday reaching up another man’s crotch more than 70 times in a three-hour span. This led to a whirlwind of rumors that the quarterback is gay.
Addressing the media afterwards, Rodgers affirmed that he is not gay, and that reaching up a man’s crotch is a commonality in the league. However, the fact that he’s been doing this every Sunday throughout his nine-year NFL career leaves a number of fans questioning his sexuality.[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/127328407″ params=”color=ff6600&show_artwork=false” width=”100%” height=”166″ iframe=”true” /]
“Dude, you clearly touched that guy’s ass multiple times on film. Are you gay or not?” a reporter asked Rodgers.
“Hey man,” Rodgers said. “There’s at least one guy on every team who reaches up another guy’s ass, if you know what I mean. We stand behind a crouching man and take his big ball in our hands; it’s called being a quarterback, but that doesn’t mean I’m gay.”
An MIT mathematician sees it quite differently, however. “Over the years, we’ve done extensive research on the probability of homosexuality. If you touch a guy’s ass more than 50 times in one day, then chances are you just might be gay. It’s not definite. It’s just a high likelihood.”
Other than gay bars, football fields are the only public areas where touching another guy’s ass is acceptable.
The investigation is ongoing and Rodgers will be filmed again this coming Sunday verse the 49ers of San Francisco.
Very interesting… Men from San Francisco are visiting Rodgers’ field of play this weekend… hmmmmm…
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