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Oh, how “blessed” I am to be a father, Part 1


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 04 Jan 2019   Posted by Rel

Becoming a father is a moment I’ve thought about for years. Before I met my wife I thought it was an unreachable goal. I could barely hold a girlfriend, I could barely hold a job, so how could I possibly hold and care for a child? But when she told me she was pregnant, I was boasting with elation…...

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OF COURSE this item didn’t ring up at the register!


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 30 Jul 2018   Posted by Rel

Once every half year I’m nice enough to join my wife for grocery shopping… Well, maybe it’s not that I’m “nice enough,” but it’s that she nags enough to the point where I can’t stand it anymore and I begrudgingly get in the car to go with her. But what happened during this episode of ‘Shopping...

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Horrible Things You Said To My Pregnant Wife and Unborn Child


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 16 Jul 2018   Posted by Rel

Allow me to preface this by saying, I am guilty of having no filter, no professionalism, and very little tact. But I know when to draw the line. You people, on the other hand, don't seem to understand how to talk to a pregnant woman or unborn child. The following are absolutely despicable, horrible,...

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Lesser-Known Benefits of Having a Pregnant Wife


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 10 Jul 2018   Posted by Rel

For men out there unsure about having a baby, I feel that after reading this blog you will most certainly at least make your wife pregnant; if nothing else, simply for the benefits of pregnancy. Once the baby is born, it's totally up to you if you want to continue being the father. As the man of the house,...

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Berenstain Bears charged with fraud and enslavery


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 19 Jun 2018   Posted by Rel

FBI Headquarters, Washington, D.C. -- One of the most iconic children's book series in American history may be banned, as it turns out the Berenstain Bears were found to be slave owners. In a plea deal with the FBI, Papa and Mama Bear confessed to using squirrels, bees, and other lesser animals...

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Being Pregnant is Like…


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 10 Apr 2018   Posted by Rel

I finally figured out what being pregnant is like. And ladies, the jig is up. My wife has been pregnant for 20 weeks with what is supposedly my baby. Aside the bump in her stomach, which is slowly becoming as big as the bump on her backside, I’ve noticed some bodily and emotional changes coming...

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D’Antoni Draws Up Brilliant ‘Give Harden Ball and Leave Him Alone’ Play


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 16 Mar 2018   Posted by Rel

HOUSTON, TEXAS -- Rockets Coach Mike D'Antoni had been crafting this play on the chalkboard for months. It was a genius: His players were instructed to get out of the way, let Harden dribble the ball for 23 seconds, and then let him shoot it. "It was a difficult play to execute," Rockets Forward...

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Cravings Your Husband Has While You’re Pregnant


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 28 Feb 2018   Posted by Rel

Pregnant women are known for their peculiar cravings, specifically with food combinations they desire; bacon and ice cream, scallops and cheese, cereal and ketchup. They also complain about pain and tiredness. According to trustworthy chauvinistic sources, they may or may not be doing that to get their...

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Blogger Suspended 2 Hours For Publicly Insulting Cats


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 26 Feb 2018   Posted by Rel

SPEARFISH, SOUTH DAKOTA – Known as the 'tweet heard round Lawrence County,' a part-time cat blogger has been suspended from posting articles for two hours without pay, following his offensive comments against cats. The blogger, who posts daily cat videos and articles, was caught on camera belligerently...

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Trillions of Men and Sperm Flee Florida Due To Potential Porn Ban


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 23 Feb 2018   Posted by Rel

Florida, Earth – In a shocking announcement, the Florida House of Representatives pushed aside any discussion of gun rights, and instead focused on another type of gun. “Pornography kills more lives than guns,” an Everglades marine biologist said while high on PCP. “With one porn session,...

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