Currently ousted from the Westminster Dog Show, a swarm of Bedlington Terriers are rioting outside of Madison Square Garden and boycotting the show.
“NO MORE RACISM! NO MORE ROIDS!” the dogs can be heard barking over and over again. Their barks were interpreted by homeless man who claims Dr. Doolittle handed down his powers to him.
Although it’s well known by all dogs that French poodles are racist, the commissioner of the National Dog League admitted, “We can’t determine what’s actually considered racism among dogs because we, ourselves, are human.”
However, the commissioner did indicate that the league is investigating the steroid allegation. If found guilty, the French Poodles would face a timeout in a steel kennel with no blanket for three hours.
“There’s no way that puffy poodle hair is natural. It HAS TO BE roids. Those pretentious, snotty, upper-class bitches think they cheat their way to the top?” a Bedlington Terrier spokescanine said, as the homeless man interpreted.
When asked about the allegations, one of the French Poodles rebutted in a typical, uppity, French way, “It’s not our faults the other low-income dogs can’t afford an elite hair stylist.”
This unfortunate scandal looms over the league like a dark cloud, as 17 billion animals are expected to watch the finale of the Westminster Dog Show.
Rel “BostonJew” Mathiowitz is a neurotic, panicky writer who details his pathetic life stories and frustrated points of view.
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