If you say these things to your Jewish daughter, she will be very, VERY upset with you.
Don’t you remember what Jackie Mason said? She wants to hear that she looks exotic or Italian. Looking Jewish doesn’t sound sexy.
A common phrase, but she may take it literally and you will regret saying it when you see the plastic surgeon’s bill.
How dare you? Jewish mothers are bitter, demanding, and overbearing women. Tell her she reminds you of the cute, innocent and always happy grandmother.
Really?! You mean I can only buy one Louis Vuitton bag per month?! You’re horrible parents!
Please don’t make me. Saturday morning is beauty rest and bagel time!
What?! You mean no bagels for a week?!
But how will I find out who’s the best kisser?!
What am I, a second-class citizen?!
THAT’S SO UNFAIR!
UGHHHH! I can’t wait ’til college when I’ll have some FREEDOM!
MOM, DON’T BE RACIST!!!
Rel “BostonJew” Mathiowitz is a neurotic, panicky writer who details his pathetic life stories and frustrated points of view.
Rel is 6 foot 5; however, he makes himself appear to be 5 foot 5 because he wants women to lust for him for his personality, and not his grand stature.