WASHINGTON, D.C. — It was approximately 10:45 a.m. this Saturday morning when Donald Trump was informed that the moon had plans to block the muse for his skin color, also known as the sun.
President Trump agreed that nuking the moon would not be in the country’s best interest because he enjoys when the moon moons China every night. But the President still didn’t like the timing of the total solar eclipse.
The solar eclipse is scheduled for 2 to 4 p.m. eastern standard time on Monday, August 21. And that’s when Donny likes to watch the previous night’s episode of Game Of Thrones, followed by a show explaining whatever the fuck is going on in Game of Thrones.
In an envelope sealed with the blood from Steve Bannon’s shaving debacle, Donald Trump sent an executive order directly to NASA headquarters, demanding they reschedule the eclipse to Tuesday, August 29, two days after the final episode of Game of Thrones, Season 7.
Unfortunately for the President, the letter was delivered with the United States Postal Service, and will arrive 2 to 3 weeks after the eclipse has passed.
To prevent Donny from feeling left out, FOX News will not cover any footage of the eclipse on August 21, and is asking all Americans, Republican or Democrat, to refrain from posting any photos or videos of the total solar eclipse, so that Donald Trump is led to believe the eclipse was delayed for him. FOX will instead air coverage of the eclipse on August 29.