Following Donald Trump’s announcement to wage war against Mexicans, the presidential candidate released the first ten Mexicans he will deport when he takes office in 2016.
Of the following ten Mexicans, Trump said in a statement that “these Mexicans must be deported immediately, as they are a threat to our national security. But we’re going to keep their guacamole recipes here. Man, I love that stuff!”
Here are the unfortunate ten, and Trump’s reasons for deporting them:
Trump’s Reason: “He’s clearly hiding three Mexicans in that belly. And that’s too much Mexican to go around in this country.”
Trump’s Reason: “He calls himself a comedian, yet he’s never made any one but a laugh track laugh. But I guess I would laugh if we deported him to Mexico.”
Trump’s Reason: “Those greasy heads are destroying our O-zone layer.”
Trump’s Reason: “They will be deported to my private island in Mexico. No further comment.”
Trump’s Reason: “If it walks like a Mexican, acts like a Mexican, and wears a sombrero, it should be deported.”
Trump’s Reason: “That mustache is harboring terrorism.”
Trump’s Reason: “They’ll be so high that they won’t even notice we’re deporting them.”
Trump’s Reason: “They gave me diarrhea. And I own 95% of Chipotle shares.”
Trump’s Reason: “My wife keeps fantasizing about him… And I gotta be honest with you, so do I.”
Trump’s Reason: “I prefer my dogs angry, and trained to chase down Mexicans.”
Rel “BostonJew” Mathiowitz is a neurotic, panicky writer who details his pathetic life stories and frustrated points of view.
Rel is 6 foot 5; however, he makes himself appear to be 5 foot 5 because he wants women to lust for him for his personality, and not his grand stature.