So my dad came over to teach me how to carve pumpkins the other week. There I was like a young buck thinking I’m the Michelangelo of pumpkins.
I did pretty good for my first try. My dad’s is on the left of the image, and mine is on the right:
I walked away loud and proud saying, “This isn’t so hard!”
Then a week later my dad emails me his latest masterpiece…
Holy Reaping Shit!
I’m no Michelangelo, I thought. My dad is the Michelangelo of Pumpkins.
At best you could compare my pumpkin carving to those shitty, smoked-up hippy artists who call their works of trash “contemporary art.”
Rel “BostonJew” Mathiowitz is a neurotic, panicky writer who details his pathetic life stories and frustrated points of view.
Rel is 6 foot 5; however, he makes himself appear to be 5 foot 5 because he wants women to lust for him for his personality, and not his grand stature.