Money can’t buy happiness… at least that’s what an underpaid asshole once said, but according to a recent study of a rich person it may actually be true.
After a night of gambling, going to strip clubs, and accidentally marrying a bearded lady, the CEO of a company in Lakewood, Colorado recently confessed to a Las Vegas priest that the only reason he shows up to work is for the “free, shitty coffee” served in the break room.
The CEO told the priest he makes $347,581 a year, which prompted the priest to ask a couple questions:
“I don’t do logic or decision making at the company anymore,” the CEO said. “Truth is I don’t even know what we sell. There’s some computer nerd who does everything at the company. My only job is to be good looking and show up to important meetings sober, so that’s what I do. AND I DO THAT JOB WITH PRIDE!”
According to our research, one out of every one CEO is highly overpaid, unhappy, makes poor decisions, and should probably give their title to the main computer nerd at their company.