08 Jun 2017
Posted by Rel 
Taste buds are like a sexual preference; you can’t control what you enjoy. If it looks good or tastes good, then you want it. And nobody should be offended by these biological preferences. So why is my wife offended by my taste buds? Peaches and Nectarines I love peaches and nectarines. Every...
Read more → 23 Mar 2017
Posted by Rel 
I typically don't like going places that take longer than 30 minutes to get to. Because of me my wife is forced to accept this way of life into her own; poor girl. This way of life comes from a combination of 'been there, done that' and tiredness. I'm always tired, and I've visited enough sights...
Read more → 14 Feb 2017
Posted by Rel 
Don't worry, this isn't another post from a single, protesting hippie claiming that Valentine's Day is a marketing scheme. This comes from a married man with years of experience in doing the least amount possible for a woman, while still being able to sleep with her. There’s a fine line between...
Read more → 20 Jan 2017
Posted by Rel 
My Text To My Sick Wife My wife was sick at home just a few weeks ago. Poor girl. I texted her: "Get well, drink soup, and rest all day. Hopefully when I got home you will feel better!" That's basically what you're supposed to say. That's what normal people do. That poor girl was still...
Read more → 07 Dec 2016
Posted by Rel 
Though this is meant mainly for men out there, my intention for this post is to prevent you, the potential bride or groom, from making one of the biggest mistakes of your life. But let’s be honest, you’ve already made a mistake even thinking about proposing to a person you will learn to loathe in a matter...
Read more → 05 Dec 2016
Posted by Rel 
I may be turning into an agoraphobic, or maybe I just appreciate the couch more than fresh air, but here are invitations I could do without for the rest of time. Weddings I’m 33 years old. That means I’ve spent the last eight years wasting my summers and money on other people’s love (minus...
Read more → 24 Nov 2016
Posted by Rel 
Happy Thanksgiving, the holiday when we pretend to be thankful for everything we take for granted... "OH, HOW BLESSED I AM!" Here's what I'm "thankful" for this year. A Wife Also known as the chore demander. The person that turns our day of rests (Saturday and Sunday) into hours-long...
Read more → 26 Oct 2016
Posted by Rel 
UPDATE (November 12, 2016): Although Hillary technically should be President, I was way off on this blog, as Donald Trump won the 2016 Presidential Election. Enjoy this blog anyway... P.S. FAAAACK the electoral college. The ‘J’ in Donald J. Trump stands for two things: ‘Jerk’ and ‘Jenius.’ I...
Read more → 27 Sep 2016
Posted by Rel 
You’d be hard pressed to find me in an Uber or Lyft cab because I avoid the city. There’s just too many people. And people, other than my closest family and friends, absolutely suck. I stick to the suburbs because there are fewer diseases and fewer ugly people. But in the past two months I was forced...
Read more → 31 Mar 2016
Posted by Rel 
To date, more than 20 literary agents rejected my manuscript titled, ‘S.O.S. (Save Our Sasquatch).’ Experienced writers advise amateurs to get used to rejection because it's part of the process. But I won't get used to it because, to me, it doesn't help the process. I'm young, this is my first...
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